Zariah Tonkin: Living Openly & Being Seen

For Zariah Tonkin, the journey toward living authentically was not defined by one big moment. It was a quiet series of truths, slowly surfacing over time.

"I’ve always known something felt different," she says. "Since I was very young, I could tell that how I saw myself didn’t quite match how others saw me."

There were early clues. She hated haircuts. She wore hats until her hair grew back. She tried to grow facial hair to “balance out” her long hair, hoping to avoid attention. “Looking back, those were all signs I was trying to exist within expectations that were never really mine,” she says.

Navigating Visibility

Raised in Brantford by two progressive parents, Zariah was fortunate that they were both incredibly supportive of her journey. “They gave me space to figure things out, and I came out as bisexual in grade seven or eight,” she recalls.

But outside of her home, things were different. “Brantford wasn’t always the most open or visible place for someone like me. I didn’t see examples of people living openly as trans, and there were a lot of assumptions I had to push through,” she shares.

Zariah joined Brant Community Healthcare System (BCHS) in 2021 as a screener during the COVID-19 pandemic. She then moved into her full-time Environmental Services role shortly after and in 2022, began the process of coming out more fully at work.

“I was out in my personal life, but not yet at work. It felt like a big leap, and I wondered if people would treat me differently,” she remembers.

In April 2023, Zariah came out as a trans woman to her colleagues. “My team was kind and accepting,” she says. “People made an effort to get it right. It wasn’t perfect, but it made a difference.” She also began wearing pronoun buttons openly. “They helped more than I expected. When people see them, it gives them something to reference. It starts a conversation,” she says.

Despite the progress, Zariah says misgendering still happens, especially when people don’t notice the pronoun button or rely on voice alone.

“I used to let it go before realizing that not saying something was only hurting me. Now, I try to address and correct it early, before it becomes a habit. Small, daily interactions shape workplace culture and if I don’t say something, it chips away at the trust and connection I want to build with colleagues.”

Pride, Progress, and Purpose

Over the past few years, BCHS has been actively making meaningful progress in advancing diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEI-B) during June Pride Month and beyond.

“Ever since the first Pride night at BCHS, I have looked forward to it as much as Christmas. It makes a difference when you feel visible,” she shares.

This year, Zariah took a leadership role in the BCHS pride booth at Brantford Pride. “It meant a lot. I grew up here, and I never felt like there was space for someone like me. To be back in this community, fully myself, and representing BCHS; that was emotional,” she reflects.

By being involved in the re-establishment of the BCHS 2SLGBTQIA+ Resource Group, Zariah feels a sense of community at work. “It is a place where I can connect, share, and be part of something bigger.”

Her favourite quote reflects not just her values but the role she sees herself playing at BCHS: "I testify for those in the margins," says Haitian musician Mach-Hommy.

For Zariah, those words speak to the quiet power of visibility. By sharing her story, showing up authentically, and speaking out when it counts, Zariah becomes a voice for others who may not yet feel safe to be seen.

When asked what she hopes people take away from her story, Zariah is clear.

“Be curious. Ask questions. Don’t make assumptions based on how someone looks or sounds. Just ask their name and get to know them. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being open, being thoughtful, and being willing to change.”

This feature is part of the “I Belong” campaign, where BCHS employees, professional staff, and volunteers are given the opportunity to share their personal stories, strengthening a culture of belonging that empowers each individual and deepens our collective mission to provide exceptional care. Together, we’re creating a more inclusive, connected, and empowered BCHS.