Three Wishes at BCHS: Humanizing Care at Life’s Final Moments

Photo: Sue Martin, former CCU patient and Three Wishes donor, Katie Conners, Three Wishes volunteer, Stephanie Ackland, Registered Nurse, CCU, Dr. Brenda Reeve, Intensivist, CCU, Dr. Anna Rozenberg, Chief & Medical Director, Department of Critical Care.

At Brantford General Hospital’s (BGH) Critical Care Unit (CCU), care extends far beyond medicine. Through the Three Wishes Program, BCHS helps humanize the experience of dying for patients facing unrecoverable illness — offering comfort, dignity, and connection when it matters most.

Led by Dr. Brenda Reeve, an Intensivist at BGH’s CCU, the program is rooted in a simple but powerful belief: when cure is no longer possible, compassion still is. Three Wishes supports patients and families by honouring meaningful, personal wishes during end-of-life care.

“In partnership with Dr. Deborah Cook at St. Joseph's Hospital in Hamilton, we endeavoured to adapt their program to fit the needs of our community hospital,” says Dr. Reeve. “As a physician working in the CCU, I find it uplifting to help ease the suffering of families and patients during difficult time.”

For nurses, physicians, and care teams who champion this program in the CCU, Three Wishes is about honouring the whole person — their life, their story, and the people who love them.

“We seek to humanize and personalize the hospital environment to celebrate and remember the lives of our loved ones,” says Dr. Reeve.

These items can include, but are not limited to, fingerprint keepsakes, favourite music played softly in the room, word clouds, framed photos, special blankets, or small symbolic items. These gestures may seem simple, but for families navigating unimaginable grief, they become lasting treasures.

Dr. Reeve recalls one young man whose grieving family found comfort in creating fingerprint heart keepsakes together. “Participating in the wishes allowed them to focus on the good times, and how much he meant to each of them,” she says.

In life’s most difficult moments, Three Wishes is a reminder that even the smallest gestures can leave a lasting impact.

A Program Shaped by Connection

COVID was extremely difficult for families and for healthcare professionals. Visiting restrictions meant families were often separated from loved ones at the end of life, and nurses became the vital link — holding phones to patients’ ears, arranging video calls, and doing everything possible to maintain connection.

Then the community stepped in.

“We had to find ways to help our families mourn and grieve their loved ones without being in the room,” says Stephanie Ackland, Registered Nurse in BGH’s CCU, who helps lead Three Wishes alongside Dr. Reeve.

A Paris-based knitting group began crafting small hearts in pairs. One heart stayed with the patient, while the matching heart went home with the family. These handmade hearts became a bridge during unimaginable separation. “They were like end-of-life friendship bracelets,” Stephanie shares. “A reminder that love and presence could still be felt, even when touch wasn’t possible.”

The impact was immediate and lasting. Families found comfort in these keepsakes, and care teams witnessed firsthand how something so small could carry so much meaning.

“I distinctly remember happy tears and hearts being held up to screens when we arranged a group video call to friends and family of the patient, mirroring the heart tucked in the patient's hand,” says Stephanie.

Even after visiting restrictions lifted, the hearts remained — and the Three Wishes program continued to grow.

Families often ask for an extra knitted heart to share with someone special — a grandchild, a close friend, or a loved one who cannot be at the bedside. “Watching families choose a heart that feels meaningful to them is always powerful,” shares Stephanie. “That’s why the hearts are made in different colours and patterns. One family was even moved to find Maple Leaf blue hearts for their hockey-loving loved one.”

For many, knowing the hearts are handmade by members of their own community makes them even more meaningful. “It’s a simple gesture, but it shows they’re not alone,” says Stephanie. “The community is holding them up during one of the hardest moments of their lives.”

Each heart is more than yarn — it’s a tangible symbol of connection, compassion, and shared support stitched together in a time of grief.

The Community Answers Again

Recently, as the CCU team put out another call for hearts, the response once again was overwhelming.

The original knitting group that supported the program during COVID immediately rallied to donate more hearts. The Burford community also stepped in and began organizing donations with Miles Flowers, a family-owned floral shop, offering to serve as a drop-off location. A local elementary school crochet club joined in as well, and individuals across the community expressed a desire to contribute.

“We have enthusiastic support of our hospital Tim Hortons who provide us with all the supplies for a family coffee and snack cart, including donating a coffee maker machine,” says Dr. Reeve. “We have also had church groups who have knitted blankets so patients have a warm, and personalized blanket on their bed.”

Even Stephanie’s ten-year-old daughter, Eve, wanted to lend a helping hand in this project. "I heard my mom talking about it, and I think it’s such a nice thing to do for people who are really sick in Critical Care, and might not see their loved ones again,” Eve says. “I asked my bus drivers and friends from my teacher's crochet club at school to make hearts for Three Wishes. It makes me really proud that people in my community care enough about such an important thing.”

Katie Conners, one of the many dedicated volunteers of Three Wishes, became inspired to help during the first wave of COVID, and saw the challenges of families who couldn’t connect with their loved ones. “I was hearing stories about people who were facing the ultimate struggle and the families who were not able to be with them in their final moments,” says Katie. “It was heartbreaking for me to imagine.”

After reading about a UK group crafting hearts to help connect patients with loved ones when physical contact wasn’t possible, Katie knew it was a small act of kindness she could take on. “I reached out to Stephanie Ackland and with her support, the knitting began,” says Katie.

“Katie was instrumental in delivering one of our first donations and immediately put out the request to her group for another donation,” says Stephanie.

Katie lost her dad to skin cancer more than fifteen years ago. He was her best friend and someone who always tried to make the world better. She believes he would be proud of this project, and it means so much to her to know these small hearts might bring even a little comfort during such a difficult time.

“Life can feel heavy at times, and the news often reflects that,” says Katie. “But if you have a gift to share, a way to spread hope or kindness, share it. Helping others not only makes a difference in the world, but it also fills you up, too.”

Katie adds “I am deeply grateful for the incredible staff at BGH who make initiatives like this possible and go above and beyond every day to support patients and families through the challenges they face.”

What This Means for Patients, Families, and Staff

For families, Three Wishes provides comfort during an unimaginable time. It reassures them that their loved one was cared for with dignity, kindness, and respect.

For staff, the program reinforces why they do this work. In a high-acuity environment, these moments of humanity help sustain resilience, strengthen purpose, and remind teams that compassionate care matters — especially when outcomes are uncertain.

“Most deaths in Canada do occur in hospitals, often in highly technical critical care environments that can feel sterile and impersonal,” shares Dr. Reeve. “Three Wishes helps transform that space.”

The program helps overcome this challenging setting and promote enriched relationships between families, patients, and clinicians. “Many different cultural and religious backgrounds are present in our CCU, and we attempt to bring peace to patients' final days, and comfort to the families in a way that is aligned with their spiritual values” says Dr. Reeve.

“These moments stay with us,” adds Stephanie. “They remind us why compassion matters just as much as clinical care.”

How You Can Support Three Wishes at BCHS

The continued success of Three Wishes is made possible through the support of the community. Whether through donations, shared stories, or acts of creativity, every contribution helps ensure that patients and families continue to experience compassion at life’s most vulnerable moments.

Sue Martin, a former CCU patient, felt inspired to give back after learning about the program on Facebook following her hospital stay. “I wanted to support the Three Wishes Project in some way,” she shares. “I made a financial donation in honour of the exceptional care I received, hoping it will help support meaningful wishes for patients and families at end of life.”

If the Three Wishes program speaks to you, we invite you to consider supporting the Brant Community Healthcare System Foundation. With greater community support, we can expand programs like Three Wishes, reach more families, and continue placing humanity at the heart of care.

To make a donation in support of the Three Wishes Program at the Brantford General Hospital, please visit https://www.bchsysfoundation.org/three-wishes-fund/ or, call the BCHS Foundation at 519-751-5510 to learn more.