Your Relationship – Is it Cool? 

A COOL relationship is good for you and for your partner – and promotes growth .

Relationships that are NOT cool can be uncomfortable and scary and even abusive – and can stop you both from growing.

  Relationships are important and should be fun, comfortable and rewarding .

Your relationship is COOL if you share the following:

Trust - Positive self-esteem

Honesty - Mutual goals and interests

Respect - Separate goals and interests

Commitment - Communication in all directions

Intimacy - Equality: no one is the boss

Assertiveness

You'll know if your relationship is NOT COOL – IF YOUR PARTNER …

•  Won't let you talk to other guys/girls even if they are friends.

•  Wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times.

•  Always criticizes or puts down what you wear and what you do.

•  Scares you by driving too fast and doing reckless things.

•  Tells others about things you did or said that embarrass you or make you feel stupid.

•  Gets very angry about little things – like not being ready for a date, or wearing the “wrong” clothes.

•  Criticizes your friends and asks or tells you to stop seeing them.

•  Is often depressed or withdrawn, but won't talk about feelings.

•  Makes you do things sexually that you don't feel ready to do – either by forcing you physically, by put-downs, or by threatening to leave you.

•  Makes degrading jokes about women.

•  Displays an interest in other women to make you upset.

•  Threatens to hit you, to hurt your friends or your pet, or to commit suicide if you don't do something.

•  Says he/she can't live without you.

•  Is jealous or suspicious of your time apart.

You'll know if your relationship is NOT COOL – IF YOU …

•  Feel like you can't live without that person.

•  Stop seeing others or give up activities because your partner wants that.

•  “Walk on egg shells” to keep him/her from getting angry.

•  Are afraid to talk to him/her about your worries and feelings about the relationship.

•  No longer express your opinions because he/she doesn't agree with them.

•  Think that you are the only one who can help or change him/her.

•  Stay because you are afraid your partner may kill themselves.

•  Think his/her jealousy is a sign of love.

•  Cannot tell anyone what he/she is doing to you because you think no one will believe you or believe people will think you are stupid for staying and that you deserve to be treated badly.

•  Believe the critical things he/she says about you.

•  Believe that you are “abnormal” if you don't enjoy the sexual things he/she makes you do.

•  Believe that the man should make the decisions and the woman should please him.

YOU DESERVE A COOL RELATIONSHIP!!!

REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE

BRANT COMMUNITY HEALTHCARE SYSTEM - SEXUAL ASSAULT / DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TEAM

751-5544 EXT. 4449