Amazing Grace

We often hear the importance of having a ‘patient advocate' involved in the care and support for a family member when they become ill. When the patient is the last surviving parent, and passes away, the job can be arduous. Funeral directors, lawyers, accountants, bankers and realtors are often consulted. Bruce and Betty Finley know this firsthand.

“Mom spent virtually the last eight months of her life in the Brantford General Hospital,” her son Bruce Finley said. “After Dad died Mom continued to live independently in the house keeping up with her sewing and gardening.”

Grace and Lloyd Fink were married for 50 years and lived in the Henderson survey. Lloyd was the breadwinner and Grace was the homemaker. Each night after dinner they would do the dishes together, then Grace would retreat to her sewing room and Lloyd would go down to his workshop. Outside of the house they were quite the couple on the dance floor- Grace would wear a dress that she made herself and Lloyd would put on his brogues and fedora.

But last August Grace began a long 8-month hospitalization.

“Mom went from the ER to the operating room, critical care, the surgical unit, medical unit, rehabilitation, complex continuing care and finally the palliative care unit,” Bruce detailed. “She had a fan club of doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, activity directors and meal servers.”

Grace liked to thank her caregivers by name- her surgeon, Dr. Rerri and Dr. Kramer the hospitalist for their compassion and Corrie her favourite activity director. She spoke of the terrific staff in critical care, reactivation, palliative care, the kind greetings each day from the meal servers and their notes on her breakfast trays and the birthday wishes.

As patient advocates Bruce and Betty made sure Grace maintained a daily journal. It grew to over 100 pages. Once she wrote that she did not know why she was sleeping so much. Another time she talked about the bloodhounds coming in every day to check her blood levels.

Six days a week, Bruce and Betty would visit and his sister, Loy, who lives out of town, would arrive on the weekends. “On Saturday's we would make Mom's dinner and bring in extra desserts for the staff,” Bruce smiled. “Mom was known for her baking and renowned for her desserts. Growing up we were the Fink Test Tasters- even the rejects were delicious.”

Grace did manage to be discharged from the hospital- albeit for a brief period.

“Mom came back to the hospital about 2 weeks before she passed away,” Bruce said. “She was in a palliative care suite. These rooms are so peaceful and family friendly. Mom was her own doctor and her knowledge of homeopathic medicine was vast and even in palliative care she was asking for her remedies. Again the staff was awesome. It is quite an experience to go through.” Bruce reflected more on the review of Grace's life while she was in palliative care. “We laughed and cried as we talked for 20- hours straight!”

As difficult as it is advocating for patients, Bruce and Betty are content knowing that Grace received the best care possible. “Overall, everyone who looked after Mom should___,” his voice trails off knowing there are not adequate words to express his feelings. “In the hospital everyone touches each other in different ways. We even got to know Leah, one of the friendly security staff at the entrances.”

Gary Chalk is senior executive director- public affairs & development for the Brant Community Healthcare System. Brantford General is a regional centre providing primary, emergency and specialized services. The Willett, Paris is a multi- service health centre providing urgent care, primary care and community outreach programs.